Marriage & Relationship Archives - Eugénie Nugent | Empowerment Coaching for Women

7 Ways You May Be Committing Financial Suicide

by Eugénie | Dec 15, 2017 | Lifestyle & Fun, Marriage & Relationship, Money & Finance

The difference between real suicide and financial suicide is that in real suicide a person voluntarily and intentionally take their own life while in financial suicide a person voluntarily but unintentionally deplete their funds. And so it is very easy for someone to get into situation(s) that allow financial suicide to take place. Financial suicide happens as a result of something that was previously done. It is the effect of a cause. Here are 7 Ways You May Be Committing Financial Suicide.

1. Marrying the Wrong Person

One of the biggest decisions any individual can make, is choosing to get married. Choosing whom to marry is an epic decision with major implications, and there are many aspects to consider, discuss, and come clean about before making that big decision to marry. Unfortunately, the financial aspect of the relationship rarely gets discussed prior to many couples getting married, which has proven to lessen the survive-ability of those marriages. Remember: Marriage is also a financial contract! As such, it’s always a financially dangerous proposition, and should not be conducted without the proper pre-marital investigation of both parties with full disclosure, and a viable financial plan discussed and put in place. Also, there are countless “responsible” people who ended up bankrupt due to the actions of a financially undisciplined spouse. You can go into a marriage with the most assets, funds, and the most at stake, and you could lose it all – if you do not protect yourself from the beginning. If you are getting ready to be a bride, take note! Don’t take the plunge until the financial situations are disclosed, discussed, and decided with a plan. The average cost of a divorce is approximately $20,000, and that does not include any assets you stand to lose in your divorce. Be smart, savvy, and strategic in your premarital decisions and avoid financial suicide.

2. Living Above Your Means

Trying to keep up with the Joneses is a sure way to commit financial suicide. Yeah, we all like nice things! And what “nice things” are for me, may not be nice things for you; however, the criteria of what’s desirable is usually decided for most of us by our peers – famous, popular people in our age range. This desire often lead an individual to strain their finances to live in the same neighborhood as the Joneses, drive the same car as the Joneses, wear the same designer clothes as the Joneses, join the same clubs as the Joneses, eat at the same restaurant as the Joneses, take as many vacation to the same destinations as the Joneses, send our children to the same schools as the Joneses, and the list goes on and on. This type of living – if not carefully planned for, will wipe out every dollar, dime, and penny into financial suicide instead of financial prosperity.

3. Failing to Accurately Track Income and Expenses

Trying to get a handle on your personal finances without knowing how much money you are earning, and where it is all going, is tantamount to trying to drive while blindfolded. People who fail to take the time to analyze their finances typically end up crashing and burning because they lack a means of ensuring they get the most from their income. As with anything else, if you are taking out more than you are putting in, it will definitely be a matter of time before it is all depleted. So, whether or not you are keeping up with the Joneses, make sure you are accurately tracking and managing your finances. To do otherwise will have you committing financial suicide.

4. Failing to Establish a Plan for the Future

The young always seem to have more time than money, which is why financially important things like putting aside money for short and longer-term emergencies or feathering a retirement nest egg, are often never even considered until people approach their golden years. Of course, by then, it’s usually much too late. The old cliche really is true: Failing to plan is the same thing as planning to fail. The best time to start planning is always when you are younger; however, regardless of where you are in age right now, you need to start planning for those days when you are no longer able to work but still must survive and thrive. If you do not have ample amount of savings, you will run out of funds and end up committing financial suicide.

5. Abusing Your Credit Cards

Credit Cards are powerful! And can help you get ahead in many ways. However, without the proper financial knowledge, acumen, and discipline, credit cards can be detrimental to your financial health which could also lead to other personal ruin. If you haven’t yet gotten a credit card, learn how to use credit cards responsibly before doing so. It is also important that you not get a credit card if you do not have a secure job, or have a substantial amount of savings to use to pay the minimum balance in the event you lose your job. Using credit cards without proper planning can catapult your debt, ruin your credit, and result in you committing financial suicide.

6. Having Unplanned Children

Like any other huge decision, a plan should be in place for having a child including a time to start the conception process after the proper necessities are put in place, to ensure them the resources they will need. There is nothing more destructive to one’s financial future than bringing children into the world without having an established and stable means to support them. Raising children requires a tremendous investment of not only money, but time and commitment as well. Unfortunately, when those resources are in short supply, it becomes extremely difficult to maintain a stable home environment, meet basic needs, and accumulate wealth for their future and yours. This is not only unfair to you; it is unfair to your children as they did not ask to be here, and now without the proper provision they will be guaranteed to go with you into the financial suicide you are committing.

7. Maintaining Financial Dependency on Others

This is a disaster temporarily averted! It is a known fact that people who are being taken care of by others – financially and otherwise, will take full advantage of that situation and not try to help themselves. This is detrimental to the dependent, and I’m talking about grown, able-bodied adults – not children. This behavior has developed in them a dependency attitude that will cripple them in the long-term and leave them financially disabled. People who are taken care of by others are not usually working at enhancing themselves to come out of their dependency, but are instead becoming fixated and permanently financially disabled. For this same reason I’m absolutely convinced that the longer people remain dependent on government assistance or friends and family for financial support, the tougher it will become for them to achieve financial independence. What will happen when those sources are no longer available? They have already committed financial suicide and may now find themselves committing real suicide. Don’t leave your most important asset – yourself, to others! Get your priorities in order and move towards financial independence.

So there you have it! 7 Ways You May Be Committing Financial Suicide.

Unlike real suicide, financial suicide is not a death sentence! And it does not happen immediately! If you are committing any of the 7 financial suicide listed above, you have a chance to stop and turn it around in your favor. Remember, the first step is acknowledging, then and only then can you move forward in doing something about it. Make the change!

Xo,

Marriage & Relationship 101: Experience Financial Prosperity or Financial Suicide

by Eugénie | Nov 12, 2017 | Lifestyle & Fun, Marriage & Relationship, Money & Finance

Money and finance is the most influential, dependent variable in relationships, and the aspects of how they are handled in the relationship will be the deciding factor on the health of the relationship or the breakdown of it. Misalignment and mismanagement of money in relationships are the number one stimuli for arguments, mistrust, and resentment in relationships that most often lead to breakup and divorce. It may be surprising to learn that many couples who date and later marry have never discussed their individual personal finances before they get married, and this is a dangerous practice that will not only lead to divorce but can cause the partner in better financial standing to lose their money. Merging together in marriage is serious business! Not only are you entrusting someone with YOU – physically, mentally, and emotionally, but you are also entrusting them with your finances – your lifeblood which allows you to live the kinda lifestyle you enjoy, and make plans to enjoy later on when you retire. When you get married, you two become one! But you know what else become one? Your finances! You are responsible for mishaps or financial infidelity your partner makes, and vice versa. Therefore, it is imperative to examine your partner financially in order to know what you are getting ready to merge with, before getting all in.

Get Financially Organized Before Committing To Marriage & Ensure Your Partner Is Too

Before you enter into a serious relationship with someone, you need to consider your own financial situation whether it’s your debt, your credit score, whatever the case is with your finances. Know your financial stance so when you come to the table to scrutinize their financial situation, yours will also be in order, because they will need to scrutinize yours as well. And if they don’t, I would really be looking at them through the side eye and not taking them seriously. You cannot enter into a relationship half stepping and expect your partner to be full stepping, and neither should they. It doesn’t work that way! At least not long-term! And what may start out as a fun, romantic, happy relationship may end up falling apart when the ooowww and aaawww phase of the early stages of the relationship are over. (And it will!) Especially, if not done right, with the kind of full disclosure and premeditation that needed to take place prior to jumping in together. And as Dr Boyce Watkins wrote in his book Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets With Your Partner in Ways That Feel Good, “I recommend not considering having financial sex until you are ready. Getting ready doesn’t necessarily mean increasing your income, since income isn’t everything, it means spending time working on your own financial habit before getting someone else involved.” Examine your financial situation and be prepared to examine your potential partner’s financial situation, as well as have him examine yours.

Discuss Finances Before You Get Married; It Is Too Important To Ignore

Like any other partnership, knowing where each other stand financially before making any commitment, is not only common sense but it is crucial to the health and survive-ability of the relationship. Does each partner have debt? How much debt does each have? Is it good debt or bad debt? How will you work together to lower or eliminate those debts? Will you be combining those debts and working together to lower or eliminate them? Or will each party work to lower or eliminate his/her own debt? How are the credit histories looking? Who has been better with money? Who stands to lose more if the marriage collapses? Will you be instituting a prenuptial agreement? How will you navigate the financial aspects of the partnership once merged? Who will be responsible for what? Will each party have their separate bank account and another that is merged for each to use for the partnership? Will a life insurance be established for each other? How will each party keep the other accountable? These are just a tip of the iceberg on the questions that should be asked and the financial examination that must take place prior to entering into marriage – if the goal is to have a lasting, happy, and fulfilling marriage.

Make Love to Yourself Financially Before Inviting Someone Else To

Money allow us to take the utmost care of ourselves. It creates for us a bedrock where we have choices in the way we eat, sleep, take care of ourselves, and live. As such, establishing a solid financial foundation is vital to our well-being, and instrumental to the way we are treated. If you love yourself, your physical well-being will be a reflection of your financial well-being. When you show that you not only place importance on your physical well-being but also your financial well-being, you can be sure you will get a lot more respect from your partner at the beginning of the relationship which will have no choice but to spill over and continue throughout the relationship. As humans, we tend to treat people based on the way they treat themselves. If they love and respect themselves it will translate in their words and actions, and if they don’t, then that too will translate. Why do you believe that poor women who marry rich men and vice versa are abused so much? Because they have left their most important priority – their finances, up to someone else. Remember, our finances allow us to care for ourselves, and live the lifestyle we design. If we value ourselves we will not leave that most essential part of our livelihood to someone else. And so people with money know and understand that, and have devalued you based on the way you have devalued yourself. There is no way that those rich partners would allow themselves to be broke and resort to depending on someone else finances – long-term. Not gonna happen! So this is huge to think about when planning on marrying someone wealthy or financially secure. If you are not bringing anything to the table, nine out of ten, you will be taken advantage of. Having your finances in order is the highest form of self-love, a love that cannot help but command respect.

Too many people are committing financial suicide by entering into marriages without first checking their partners financial pedigree, or lack thereof. Make sure your financial situations are all in check before you move to attach someone else to it. And after you work at getting your financial T’s crossed and I’s dotted, make sure the partner you are planning on merging with, have their T’s crossed and I’s dotted as well. Do this one thing right – from the get go, and you can expect to: avoid financial suicide, experience financial prosperity, and have a more stable, happy, and transparent marriage.

Xo,

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